18 Things Middle-Aged Men Should Never Wear In Summer
This is my response episode to an article that I saw in The Times, written by Simon Mills, called The 18 Things Middle-Aged Men Should Never Wear In Summer.
It's a subject that gets talked about a lot every single year. For example, if I'm fortunate enough to have the time to go on holiday, it's something that comes up in conversation because even just sitting in an airport waiting to get on a flight, I see so many disasters. But there were some things that Simon mentioned in his article that I really wanted to comment on.
Are Cufflinks Aging?
Cufflinks
The intro to his article starts off by talking about how he was once in the company of Hardy Amies, a famous Savile Row tailor, and he was wearing a linen suit, pale blue shirt and a knitted tie with Church's loafers. He was wearing cuClinks that he was very, very proud of, and Hardy Amies told him that cufflinks are aging. Now, firstly, I disagree with that.
I don't think cufflinks are aging. I think they're a sign of class. We don't get to wear many accessories as guys in terms of jewellery and that sort of thing. So things like watches and cufflinks and tie pins, they elevate an outfit. But to say that they're aging, I do not agree. I think they do have a place. So if I was wearing linen, I wouldn't be wearing a double cuff shirt, I'd probably be wearing a single cuff shirt. But if I'm wearing a full proper business-like suit, shirt, tie or a dinner suit, then I would absolutely be wearing cufflinks.
A lot of my clients have got big cufflink collections that they're not using. They've got beautiful cufflinks, a lot of cufflinks with sentimental value. So use them, don't worry about them making you look old, because I honestly do not think that that is true.
1. Trunks and Shorts That Are Too Long or Too Short
So, let's get into the 18 things that Simon thinks you shouldn't be doing if you're a middle-aged guy during the summer season. He starts at number one with trunks. He says, “a glimpse at (Boris) Johnson's Instagram feed will put you off garish print swimmers forever.” Plain colours & thigh length is what he recommends. “Think prime Bjorn Borg from Orlibar Brown at best”.
I agree with that. You definitely don't want shorts below the knee when you're in your... I don't even know what middle aged is. I guess middle aged is if you're in your 40s to 50s, that sort of age bracket. But yes, you definitely don't want them below the knee because then you just look like you're trying to be some sort of surfer “dude”. So, I do agree with Simon on that.
Simon also says you don't want them too short as in above mid -thigh, and I agree with that as well, because unless you're in really, really good shape (and I'm talking Daniel Craig, Casino Royale shape here), you don't want your shorts too short. About mid to sort of lower thigh is about the right kind of area. I think lower thigh, if you're a bit more powerfully built (which means overweight) and if you're in reasonably good shape, then mid -thigh's probably about fine. But yes, not too high. Don't put them below the knees. Simon and I agree there.
2. Friendship Bracelets
At number two, Simon has friendship bracelets, which he says are “AKA mangles”. So friendship bracelets are those things that you see guys wearing. They're like beads or cloth bands or whatever that go around the wrist. And I totally agree.
There is a time and place for these in life. And it's definitely when you're younger, not when you're middle -aged because you just look like you're trying to recapture your teenage years or something. I just don't think that they're very classy. Apparently, if you watch Clarkson's Farm, Simon says that you'll notice that Jeremy Clarkson always has a wrist full of them.
I haven't seen Clarkson's Farm, so I'm going to have to go check that out. But just the thought of it, I'm not looking forward to it.
So we agree there.
3. Pastel Linen Shirts
Simon says, “step away from the bland Alan Titchmarsh pastels. Go for olive green or navy blue. Yes, they can be a bit Cameron in Ibiza, but UniGlo does really nice inexpensive ones.”
Yes, nice inexpensive shirts that will last not even a season. Throw them in the bin and you have to start again, which doesn't help with landfill and the environment! I don't know what Simon means by bland Titchmarsh pastels. So I kind of disagree with him here. Look, linen shirts are meant to be fun. They're the sort of thing that you wear when it is hot, often associated with being on holiday, with time off or being a little bit more laid back and casual.
If you are someone who has a yellow based undertone to your skin, you’re fair haired or red headed, pastel softer colours are going to be in your wheelhouse and they're going to be the colours that suit you the best. So by all means, you should wear them.
If you're someone who's got a blue based undertone to your skin, you're more a winter colour and the colours that suit you best are ice colours and jewel colours, then you're not going to wear pastels.
So for example, I'm someone who's not really into pastel colours. They wash me out. But I've got friends who are redheads and they look amazing in pastels. They really compliment them.
So I disagree with Simon here. You've got to go with the colours that you feel the most comfortable in and the most confident in. And if you've done a little bit of homework and you're a bit more tuned into what colours do and don't suit you, then go for it.
4. Shirt Buttons
Simon says: “One shirt button undone is for British countryside weekends. Two undone is acceptable for the Mediterranean. If you must undo three or four, chest hair has to be trimmed or completely depilated.”
So he's saying that you can undo three or four buttons, but you have to have a smooth chest. I agree with that - if you've got a hairy chest and you're really showing all of it, then you probably need a gold medallion as well! AKA Stavros, sorry to all my Greek readers and friends (there's lots of you).
The whole thing with shirt buttons being undone, I have this conversation with clients because some of them will tell me that they have three or four buttons undone during the working week, which is completely inappropriate. I don't think you should be unbuttoning more than one button on your shirt if you're in a professional environment. If you're in downtime or dressing smart casually to go out somewhere, then I would say maybe two buttons undone.
Three or four so that you're exposing that much chest; I think the only time that you do that is if you're by the swimming pool on holiday or you're at the beach and you're wearing a casually cut linen shirt - a proper casual summer shirt. So yes, so I kind of agree with him on that one, but there are a few rules that I abide by and advise my clients to stick to.
And if you're someone who's got a really hairy chest and you do not like the idea of waxing or shaving it, then just keep yourself buttoned up. Easy!
5. Cotton Knitwear
“Looks good in the store, fits nice on the first wear, and then it goes flaccid, saggy, and baggy in all the wrong places.”
So I think what he's referring to is...you can get polo shirts and you can get lightweight sweaters that are knitted using cotton. Look, I think when it's hot and it's summer, you're either going to wear some sort of shirt made from linen or a linen cotton blend, or some sort of cotton, or you're going to wear a t-shirt. I don't think really there are many guys that are going to wear a knitted sweater made of cotton. For most of us, it's too hot, you don't want to sweat. Polo shirts might be the other thing that you'd wear.
But regardless of what it is, I think quality is always important because the more you invest, you get a good quality garment rather than cheap fast fashion items, then it is going to last and it's going to hold its shape. It's going to wash and launder well, and it's going to look good for a much longer period of time. So I think that's more a buying and investing sensibly point rather than “you can't wear knitted cotton”.
So I kind of disagree with him there.
6. Sunglasses With A Suit
Sunglasses with a suit at number six! “Acceptable at summer funerals, but do you really want to look like an aging East End gangster or a retired Aussie cricketer?”
Now look, you don't wear ski glasses with a suit, that's not what you do. Or for my cycling readers out there, you don't wear your cycling glasses with a suit, obviously.
But if it's sunny and it's hot and it's bright, you don't want your retinas getting burned - wear sunglasses, there's nothing wrong with it! I've got a pair of Ray -Bans with a gradient lens, so they're darker at the top and then they grade out so you can still see my eyes, but you get the protection from blocking the sun at the top of the lens. I wear them with a suit every single day. Well, I use those glasses seven days a week.
Wear sunglasses with a suit. Don't listen to this Simon on this, seriously. What a load of nonsense. If it's summer, it's hot, it's bright, it's sunny. Wear sunglasses!
Guys, don't worry about it. And so what, if you look like an East End gangster? Nothing wrong with that whatsoever in my book.
7. Funny Slogan or Band T-Shirts
Funny slogan or band t-shirts, as in rock band, t-shirts. Simon says they're “...for the bedroom only. No one in Devon or Tuscany cares that you survived Iron Nappa or that you’re ‘with this idiot’. Did you really see Led Zepp on their 1975 North American tour...?”
He says t-shirts should be plain colours, white or navy blue and with a crew neck, which is what I wear in my downtime. I do agree with him on this one. I think when you get to a certain age, it can look a little bit like “mutton dressed as lamb” if you're wearing t-shirts that have got tour dates etc on them, especially if you're not in good shape. Because if you've got a tummy and you've got all those tour dates running down the front, what happens is that the letters start to run out over the curve of your tummy and it makes you look bigger!
I'm going to come at this from a different point of view. Most guys that in their 40s and 50s have got dad bods and they want to look a bit more athletic, or as athletic as they can at least. My advice, this is the bit that I agree with Simon on, is stick to plain t -shirts with a slightly trimmer fit around the arm holes and the bicep area, because that will make your shoulders look broader, it will make your biceps look a little bit bigger and it then de-emphasises the width that you might be carrying around the middle.
Me personally, my t-shirt collection is literally plain whites, plain dark navies. I've got some greens and pinks, but I've got dozens of just plain white and plain navy t-shirts in the sort of fit that I've described and that is pretty much what I wear during summer in my downtime.
So yes, there we go. Band t-shirts, I own them. But they're definitely night time, like a pyjama substitute for me. I agree with Simon, but I don't agree with the harshness of his sentiment. So hopefully I've given you a little bit of styling advice there that's useful. So plain white or dark blue t-shirts gents!
They always look great with denim and smart trainers as well. We'll come onto that because he does mention these. That's the most flattering look for you if you want to look your best.
9. Rucksacks
I've got a real thing about rucksacks. I get clients asking why the shoulders on their suit jackets or casual jackets are stretching out or why they've got a little bit of wear and tear on one shoulder and not the other. And I say to them, are you carrying a rucksack?
They say yes and ask why? That's what's damaging it I tell them. Simon says, “...away from trail and mountainside, rucksacks are infantilizing and tech conference generic. You're not a French student on a London language exchange, so buy a beach tote with handles, not back straps.”
So remember, we're talking about summer here. I do have a beach tote and I just carry it in my hand and we chuck all of our stuff in it. Totes are really handy and I even have one I use daily during the week. It's made by Coach. They're like Tardises. They're the Tardis of bags. You need to get that Doctor Who reference, but I’m trying to say that you can put so much into them. They're so practical.
But yes, never rucksacks on summer holidays, if you're going down to the beach. We always take a tote with us when we pack. So when we leave our hotel room to go down to the beach, we just chuck all of our stuff into it then I'm holding it in my hand. It's far more elegant. Why the hell do you want to put a heavy rucksack on your back? You will look tragic.
And also it just adds more heat to your back, nobody wants that on a hot summer holiday.
8. Tight Jeans
“Stretchy drainpipe, religion revealing, taught, tight denims with a protruding oblong in the groin area where the phone is stored look awful on teenagers and tragic on older men.”
Simon recommends regular straight jeans or loose “carpenter's painter's pants” like the Waltons used to wear.
Now, The Waltons was a show about this family where they had about 200 kids and they lived on the Prairie somewhere in America, set maybe 150 years ago or something. I vaguely remember it from when I was a child, but they were wearing dungarees and things, that I would never recommend. So I've got no idea what the hell he's talking about with that last bit, but I do agree with the regular straight jeans recommendation.
I still think you want something that's reasonably fitted around your backside and around the thigh area, then cut straight down with a little bit of a taper towards the bottom of the leg.
If you're not getting your jeans custom made from someone like me and you're going ready-made, a really good one for the average middle-aged guy are Levi's and their 502s, because 502s have a really nice cut around the top and the bum area, giving your bum a little bit of shape. They've got a nice fit for the thigh without looking too skinny. And then they cut through the legs with a nice little taper at the bottom. They're the perfect jean to wear if you like that jacket / blazer with a t-shirt or shirt and jeans kind of look.
I'm not getting paid by anyone by the way for mentioning them, but Levi 502s would be my go-to if I wasn't making them for myself. I do agree with him on that first bit with the straight cut, but I don't know what the heck he's talking about when he's using the Walton's reference!
10. Grail Sneakers
I don't even know what a grail sneaker is. Let's see what he says. “Any sporting shoe with a name and number recognized by teenagers.” OK, so these would be like the fashionable trainers that teenagers are going after, for example when Nike does a “Drop” and everybody's after them. So I agree with that.
You want your trainers to be a bit more elegant, classy. Most middle -aged guys these days will be of an age where they'll remember things like Reebok Pumps and Nike Air Jordans and from the 80s and early 90s. They are the things that you shouldn't be wearing when you get to a certain age in life.
11. Dress Sneakers
So he mentions the Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak and says “when he finally retires to Los Angeles in a couple of weeks time, you know that Sunak will become a full-time dress sneakers kind of guy.”
So his definition of dress sneakers is black or brown, white-soled formal training shoes worn with a suit and tie or skinny jeans (which Simon also states is unforgivably naff).
Now, if you're watching the YouTube version of this, I'll have examples of everything that I've talked about so far on screen.
I don't think there's any problem with white sole trainers at all. The smarter trainer type with a leather top in a dark brown, dark navy, that sort of thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with them. If you're following the advice from one or two steps ago when we were talking about jeans, that looks absolutely fine. And then if you want to wear those with a t-shirt and a casual jacket over the top, that's a really, really good look.
I disagree with him here. He describes that look as being “like business at the front, party at the back, like a mullet.” I kind of agree with him, but again not the harshness.
I think you need to get the quality, the style, the design of the trainer right, but there's nothing wrong with that look at all. Come on, it doesn't matter what age you are, you should be able to have a little bit of fun, right?
Liven up, Simon.
12. Comfort
Simon says, “Even in the summer, this should never be a priority, ever. Sweats, hoodies, flip flops and sliders and elastic waists, velcro fastening. If you want to be comfortable, spend on fabrics. Cashmere, merino, silk.”
Okay, let's break this down. I agree with him about the sweats, hoodies, flip flops and sliders. I don't think anybody looks good in that stuC. It just screams sloppy. Like you didn't care about what you put on that morning.
I get it, for some people that's their thing. Fine, live your life, you do you. But we're talking about middle-aged people who might be in professional environments or might be going to events and things like that - general socializing, who care about their appearance. I guess you wouldn't be reading this blog if you didn't care about how you look and present yourself. So, I agree with him on that point, but in summer you do need to be comfortable.
So having clothing that isn't tightly fitted is important because, for example, when you have shirts that are tightly fitted to the body, you're trapping heat, it's making you sweat. When you have jackets that are too tightly cut, again, you're trapping heat, it's making you sweat. He's right, you should spend on fabrics, you should invest in quality fabrics, but cashmere and merino wool are heat trappers.
Why you would wear silk, I've got no idea because it is not practical. Most guys still need something that's reasonably hard wearing. I would go for clothes that you feel comfortable in. Looks tailored but smart. And in terms of fabrics, linen, bamboo, cotton are probably the three main things that you want to be looking at during warm weather.
I think at some point in this article, Simon forgot what season he was alluding to in the headline. Agree but disagree with him on that one.
13. Black Anything
“Never in the summer it looks mean, cheap and naff.”
Okay, fine. Without being disparaging, some people like black because it makes them feel more confident, it makes them feel slimmer. But the thing with black as a colour, black absorbs energy.
Energy in summer comes from the sun, well, any energy comes from the sun, but energy equals heat. You don't want to absorb energy because it's going to make you hot. Darker colours will do that. So, you're better off wearing lighter colours because lighter colours absorb less of the energy spectrum and therefore they absorb less heat. If you can, wear some lighter colours.
I’m wearing a dark navy t-shirt today, but I've got a lighter coloured linen jacket on the top to help deflect energy and therefore deflect heat. So that's my scientific, gracious explanation as to why you should never wear black in summer heat.
I agree with him, black, never in the summer. But as for it looking mean, cheap and naff, I think that's just a lazy comment to make, without justifying what you're saying.
14. Brighter Colours
“Canary yellow, turquoise, purple, salmon, aubergine, damson, et cetera. Bright strong colours worn by the older generation are thought to be part of a peacocking process that kicks in when a man stops getting noticed.”
I don't know the theory behind this, but I just personally think if you like bright bold colours, go ahead. You've got one life to live. It's fun. The thing with wearing bright bold colours is that, certainly in the UK, a lot of people don't. People tend to dress quite dour a lot of the time over here.
When you wear bright bold colours, you do get attention, but it makes people happy around you. People talk to you, people comment on what you're wearing and compliment you. So if you are doing it because you're peacocking, fine, whatever, that's your deal. But for other people especially introverts, wearing something that's a little bit different can really help to break you out of your shell because to other people, it makes you a magnet.
If you like bright colours or you like colours that are different, go for it. Don’t listen to Simon.
15. Non-Iron Shirts
“Non-iron shirts,” Simon says, “are the devil's work because they're full of nasty chemicals and environmentally unfriendly manufacturing methods” and he's right, a lot of non-iron shirts that you buy oC the peg, cheaper non-iron shirts, they're made using artificial fibres or they've got some chemical treatment to them. They don't feel good and they will make you sweat like anything.
By that same token, you shouldn't really wear sportswear in summer either because artificial fibres are no good against the skin when you're trying to keep cool. You should always stick to natural fabrics, again, like cottons, linen, bamboo, the best things to touch your skin.
But if you're someone that hates ironing or you're a business person that travels a lot, which a lot of middle-aged working men are, you don't have time or you may not like ironing.
There's nothing wrong per se with non-iron shirts, but you've got to be careful with what you buy. So, for example, at Roberto Revilla London, when we tailor shirts, we've got ranges of 100 % cotton shirts that are woven in a way that the weave is so tight that the fabric can't spring and bounce. So it makes them very resilient to wrinkling and very easy to launder and iron. I iron a lot of my non-iron shirts in 30 seconds flat.
I generally agree with him on this point, but you just need to pick your fabrics carefully. Don't buy cheap if you're buying non-iron. Try to find non-iron shirts that are made from natural fabrics. And if you need some help with that, drop me a comment on YouTube or send me an email via the website if you're reading this .
He does finish saying that “a man who is tired of ironing is tired of life.” Now, I don't mind ironing, but bloody hell I'm busy. And I'd much rather be doing a lot of other things with my time!
16. Plain Knit Socks
“Away from the paddle courts, flat weave cotton socks look cheap and tragic. A man's summer socks should be pale wool and ribbed” he says, “... like a condom.”
That was not necessary.
Okay, socks. Your feet have the highest proportion of sweat glands than anywhere else in your body. You sweat about half a mug of water into each shoe every single day.
So what you wear on your feet is very important, not just in terms of shoes, but in terms of your socks as well. The last thing you want to wear, socks-wise in summer, is wool. Wool will make your feet roast.
I wear Merino wool socks from Pantherella during the winter, autumn, and spring. When we get to summer, I wear Pantherella cotton socks.
Not wool. Wool's the worst thing you can do. You're going to sweat even more. When you think you sweat that much into each foot every day, you're going to end up sweating that much and more into each foot. Disgusting, right? You want cotton socks. If you're wearing trainers and shorts, you can then get away with wearing those trainer liner socks that make it look like you're not wearing socks, but your feet are actually covered. Other brands will do them as well, but Pantherella do some great 100 % cotton ones.
So that's what I would wear, lightweight cotton socks. As for flat weave, look, a lot of cheap socks that you buy do look cheap and tragic because at the end of the day, if you spend good money on socks, they look great and last a very long time. I've still got Pantherella socks from 12 years ago.
If you buy cheap socks like the ones that you get in Tesco's or Uni -Glo, places like that, they're like good for five or six launderings and then end up in landfill. It's ridiculous.
Buy less but buy quality and you'll be fine. So again, that's another point he's made where I think it's a bit lazy not to give more of an explanation, but there we go.
17. New Hat
“You can wear a baseball cap at any age, but make sure it's a bit battered, plain, or with a niche company -stroke -restaurant logo on the front. Roll the peak and remove the gold sticker.”
I know on the New York Yankee hats, they have that gold sticker at the bottom.
“Your straw Panama should be similarly beaten up also. You can wear a baseball cap at any age, but make sure it's battered, plain, or with a niche company -stroke -restaurant logo.”
What the hell is he talking about?
Sorry, why would you wear a baseball cap that's got a company or a restaurant logo on it? He's been talking about cheap, tragic, tacky, previously in his article, and suddenly he wants you to wear a baseball cap that's got a company or a restaurant logo on it. What the hell? No, if you need to wear a baseball cap, wear one that's plain, that hasn't got a logo on it or for me, I still think baseball caps, if they've got a sports logo on, I think they look fine.
Baseball caps aren't really my thing. I went through a phase of wearing them about five years ago and then I hit 40 and I was like, no, I can't do this anymore. Anyway this confuses the heck out of me.
“Your straw Panama hat should similarly be beaten up also.”
Look, if you're going to wear a Panama hat, I don't see the need to stomp up and down on it before you put it on. Panama hats tend to age on their own anyway. You don't need to give them any extra beating up. Anyway, when do you walk around wearing a Panama hat? I guess you use a Panama hat if you're at the cricket or you're at the beach and you want to protect your head, especially if you haven't got a full head of hair like me.
To be honest, I don't tend to bother. I just slap loads of factor 50 on my head. Yep, number 17, “new hat”. I'm not sure what he's talking about there. Sorry. Let me know what you think about that as well. Baseball caps with a restaurant or company logo? If that made sense to you, please tell me, I want to know!
18. Prominent Logos
Simon says “If in doubt, D badge. There's a sharp, hook -bladed gizmo you can buy called a seam ripper. Get one and remove all visible labels and logos from apparel. Unpick white safety stitches from new suits.”
Okay, so that last one, unpicking white safety stitches from new suits is a thing. You often have safety stitches in the cuffs and the vents of the suit. You should take those out. But why he's talking about that for an article that's about what middle-aged men shouldn't be wearing in summer because most people aren't really going to be wearing suits, and if you are wearing a suit, it's probably going to be a linen suit. But then yes, if you're wearing a linen suit and it's off the peg, make sure you take all the safety stitches out. Please don't walk around with those in.
On the other point about logos, I don't know why he's talking about you buying a stitch ripper and taking labels out of your clothes. My approach to prominent logos would be; if you're buying polo shirts, avoid those Ralph Lauren ones with the massive prancing horses that take up much of the chest area. Avoid t-shirts and things like that that have massive logos on them because massive logos all over the place screams of trying too hard, overcompensating and so on. It's far classier to go with brands that have got very minimal logos on their clothing or no logos because when you look at very successful, classy people, and if you don't consider yourself to be in that bracket, but you aspire to be, or you want to look like you are, that's how they dress. My highest end clients do not like logos on anything because they just want to look like they're dressed well. They don't want people necessarily knowing, or they don't need people to know where they shop.
So, they tend to avoid big logos or any logos for that matter, because it's just classier to be discreet and to be understated. Understated wow factor, that's the way to go. I agree with his main sentiment towards prominent logos, but I don't understand the explanation he's given.
Conclusions
I don't know if Simon is an actual fashion journalist or if he really knows anything about menswear. He's not demonstrating it to me much in this article! If this ever gets to him, Simon Mills of The Times, please get in touch!
But I will say it’s a great headline, and certainly there is a lot of merit in the things that Simon pointed out, even if I don’t agree with some of his points, it’s a very important subject to discuss and will certainly be something that the target audience will be thinking about and wanting help with.
All of my middle-aged readers, viewers and listeners, hit me up with your feedback and your thoughts and your questions. If there's anything that you're not sure about, maybe your partners have mentioned certain things to you when you've been getting ready for a night out and you thought any criticism of your outfit choice was harsh...
Anything I can help you with, any questions, conundrums that I can unravel, get in touch.
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